IlovedeenofAllah

Us Salaam Ala Kum...

I Pray that all reading this are well In sha Allah.

Not sure what to say about myself, I think is best to ask and find out for yourself :)

I am a practicing Muslim and I have been practicing for past 4 years and I am loving every minute of it.

I like to hear from you inshallah Thank you :)

I have find a beautiful article for mens and it works and alhamdulilah i am working on these qualities. These qualities are as follows.

Tips to ensure your wife�s happiness

We should all strive to be the perfect husband, yet as human beings we are not perfect and are, therefore, prone to making mistakes. Likewise, our wives cannot be perfect and by expecting them to be so, we are merely setting ourselves up for disappointment. Knowing how to act when you have made a mistake and learning to forgive your wife for hers is essential advice for a realistic marriage.

A happy marriage needs to be constantly worked at and nurtured by both spouses. Read on for some ways in which you can bring contentment to your wife.

show "KINDNESS" to your wife.

Your wife is the closest person to you in the whole world, yet many of us show our best side to people outside the home. We make such an effort to impress and to make the right impression, yet we do not do this at home. Who is most deserving of your best side? Surely it is your spouse.

Muslim men are required by the teachings of the Qur’an and the ahadith of the Prophet (ṣall Allahu ʿalayhi wa sallam صلى الله عليه وسلم‎) to show kindness to their wives. Smile when you return home, speak kind words and use positive language. Praise your wife when she pleases you and show gratitude for all she does for you. Make the most of her best points and do not dwell on those aspects of her character that may be less pleasing to you.

“A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing.” [Muslim]

Unfortunately, some Muslim men, who do not have a full understanding of the Qur’an and Sunnah, believe that it is acceptable to use violence against their wives. Islam allows a symbolic beating but using an item that will not bring harm, such as a toothbrush or a handkerchief. You are not permitted to try to control your wife, intimidate her or act violently towards her. This is termed as abuse and it is punishable by law. It is also a shameful act, committed by weak individuals who are unable to control their anger.

Build "FRIENDSHIP" with your wife.

Become your wife’s best friend, not just her husband. Spend time together doing things that you both enjoy. Share your interests and your thoughts. Be open with one another and show that you can be a trusted confidant.

"SENSE OF HUMOUR"
Have a sense of humour. Smile, have fun. Ensure that your home is a happy place. Life is hard enough so let in a little humour to ensure that any challenges you face do not get you down.
Personal appearance

Take care with your personal appearance. Keep yourself clean and make an effort to look good for your wife. Do not fall into the trap of thinking that you no longer need to make yourself attractive to her now that you are married

"SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP"

Respect your wife’s likes and dislikes and stick to what is halaal. Remember that foreplay is an essential part of intercourse and that intercourse is not over until your wife has been satisfied too. Do not pressure her to do anything that she does not feel comfortable with.

Never reveal your bedroom secrets to others. Intimate acts between a husband and wife should remain private.

"FINANCES"

Muslim men are told:

“Provide for them (your wives), the rich according to his income and the poor according to his means, the provision according to the custom, this is an obligation for those who act kindly.” [2:236]

Men are advised to spend generously on their wives and family, yet live within their means. Give to your wife before she needs to ask you for anything, yet do not be wasteful.

"HOUSEHOLDS"

Although Islam tells us that household duties are usually the wife’s responsibilities, a little help goes a long way. The Prophet Muhammad (ṣall Allahu ʿalayhi wa sallam صلى الله عليه وسلم‎) helped his wives and sets a shining example to us. Don’t expect your wife to do it all. An offer of help will be greatly appreciated by your partner, especially when she is unwell. Most of all, show your wife how much you appreciate everything she does for you.

"CONSULTATION"

Consulting your wife on family, household or financial matters will help to cement your relationship. Listen carefully and consider her opinion. Feeling that her views are important to you will help your wife to feel valued and increase her trust in you.

"Respect for family and friends"

Treat her family and friends respectfully. Pay them visits and invite them to your home. Help them out when they need it. They will do the same for you. Take time to get to know them and learn to love what your wife loves about them. Your wife will love you all the more for it!

"Disagreements"

Be careful of what you say. In the heat of the moment we often say hurtful things that we don’t really mean. A spiteful word or insult may stay with your partner for a long time. Let your anger die down first. Wait until you are alone and do not bring shame upon yourselves by arguing in the company of others.

Do not bring up past arguments or mistakes. Reopening old wounds only leads to bitterness. Leave them in the past.

Finally, always settle an argument before going to sleep. Do not allow your anger to persist into the following day as this will only make matters worse.

"FORGIVENESS"

If you make a mistake, admit it and ask for forgiveness. Be prepared to forgive your wife’s mistakes too. Honesty is essential in a relationship. We ask Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Taala سبحانه و تعالى) for forgiveness, so why not our spouses too? Forgive each other and move on.

"SUPPORT"

As a husband, you should be your wife’s greatest supporter. Encourage her in her activities and give her a shoulder to lean on when she is upset. Be a counsellor and a source of inspiration to her when things go wrong.

If you have married a wife who has ambition, it is up to you to let her know that she does not have to spend her life doing housework. There have been many well-known women scholars and many women have played important roles in Islam. Allow your wife the freedom to accomplish her goals in life and your lives will be all the richer for it.

"ISLAMIC EDUCATION"

Help your wife to grow as a Muslim. If she was less practising than you prior to marriage, then teach her the basics of Islam, Islamic rules and Sunnah. Teach her to pray and spend time praying together. Make du’a for Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Taala سبحانه و تعالى) to bless your marriage. You can encourage your wife to attend lessons or Islamic social events (halaqahs) in your community or at the masjid.

If you are on a par in your worship then devise ways in which you can further your Islamic knowledge and commitment together. This will strengthen your relationship with Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Taala سبحانه و تعالى) as well as with each other.

If you have married a woman who has recently converted to Islam then you will need to be patient. Offer support and encouragement and help her with her understanding of Islam but do not try to force the pace of change. A change of faith and lifestyle is a lot to adapt to straightaway. Let her take her time and to adopt new aspects of Islam as she becomes comfortable with them.

"NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIP"

Keep your relationship fresh by surprising your spouse occasionally. Give little gifts, flowers or send a card. The Prophet (ṣall Allahu ʿalayhi wa sallam صلى الله عليه وسلم‎) told us that giving gifts increases mutual love. What better reason do you need?

"VERY IMPORTANT Make your marriage an act of worship"

Finally, remember that by marrying you are completing half your deen. When both spouses strive to please Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Taala سبحانه و تعالى), their marriage becomes an act of worship. This will please Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Taala سبحانه و تعالى) and He will reward you with happiness and stability in your marriage.

I HOPE IT HELPS. i am working on these qualities.

A partner who will help me get close to Allah s.w.t and family oriented.

"A woman is married for four reasons, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her piety. So you should marry the pious woman otherwise you will be losers (your hands will be covered in dust)." Narrated by Abu Huraira, in Sahih Al-Bukhari (Book 62:27, Marriage)

I like my future wife to have the following qualities....

1. Her Obedience to the Creator: A practicing Muslim man loves to have a practicing Muslim wife; who knows that the life of this world is nothing but a test from her Lord; giving her an opportunity to come closer and closer to Allah, doing more and more good deeds to please Him Azza wa jal, restricting herself from the desires of her inner self that go against the will of her Creator.

But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode. (Surah An- Naaziyaat: 40-41)

2. Her Haya (Modesty/Shyness): Haya is one of the most significant factors of a woman’s personality. Haya according to a believer's nature refers to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one's fear of being exposed or censured for some unworthy or indecent conduct.[1]

Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: "Haya comes from Eman; Eman leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

A Muslim woman feels shy to do anything that would displease her Lord in any aspect. She has haya in her talk, she has haya in her gaze, she has haya in her clothing, she has haya in her walk. Her haya in her talk is that she is not soft in her speech but speaks honorably.

Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner” (Surah Al-Ahzaab:32)

Her haya in her gaze is that she does not look at what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has prohibited for her to look. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):
...And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)… (Verse continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her clothing is that she does not reveal to others what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has forbidden for her to reveal. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):
...And not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms,) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of the feminine sex.. (Verse Continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her walk is that she walks modestly without attracting others attention towards herself. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning): .
..And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. (Surah An-Nur: 31)
Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger Sallallahu alaihiwasallam say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home: ‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle of the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. (Narrated by Abu Dawood in "Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq)

A woman who has the knowledge of Allah’s commandment to preserve her modesty, submitting herself to the will of her creator, even after having the desire to be praised for her beauty, is without doubt beloved to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and as well as to all good believing men.

3. Her Beauty: Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala made women beautiful in the sight of men. It’s just that some human beings are more attracted towards some than others. Aishah RadhiyAllahu anha said: “I heard the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam saying: ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.’” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Al-Qurtubi said: “Although they are all souls, they differ in different ways, so a person will feel an affinity with souls of one kind, and will get along with them because of the special quality that they have in common. So we notice that people of all types will get along with those with whom they share an affinity, and will keep away from those who are of other types. [This is like the old saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together”]

For a believing man, a Muslim woman’s beauty is not just how her nose looks or how big her eyes are, but her modesty, purity of heart, and innocence make her look beautiful as well. Also
Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala makes people whom He loves, pleasing to others.

“When Allah loves someone he calls to Jibreel Alaihissalaam saying, ‘O Jibreel, I love such and such a person, so love him.’ Then Jibreel will call to the (angels) of the heavens, ‘Allah loves such and such a person so love him.’ And the angels will love [that person]. And then Allah will place the pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

4. Her Intellect/playfulness: Intellect and playfulness are two qualities of women highly liked by men. Every man likes to have an intelligent wife who can advise and support him in day to day matters.

Khadija bint Khuwaylid RadhiyAllahu anha was one of the most beloved wives of Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). She supported Allah’s messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) at the very beginning of his Prophethood when Jibreel alaihissalaam brought the first revelation to him. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) always admired her and remembered her even long after her death.

A playful wife is a joy and pleasure to a man’s heart.

Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam recommended Jabir bin 'Abdullah to marry a virgin so that the two could play with each other and amuse each other. Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah: "My father died and left seven or nine girls and I married a matron.
Allah's Apostle said to me, "O Jabir! Have you married?" I said, "Yes." He said, "A virgin or a matron?" I replied, "A matron." he said, "Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you." (Hadith continued) (Sahih Al- Bukhari)

5. Her Truthfulness: Being truthful and honest is an essential quality of a believer.

‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood RadhiyAllahu anh said: The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “I urge you to be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will continue to be truthful and seek to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as speaker of truth (Siddeeq). And beware of lying, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hell; a man will continue to tell lies until he is recorded with Allah as a liar.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

A person who is known to lie repeatedly loses his trust. And if that happens in case of a marital relationship the whole relationship falls apart. A woman who is known to be a “Siddeeqah” certainly has a higher status in a Muslim man’s heart.

6. Her Obedience: Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala made man protector and maintainer of the woman and enjoined upon her to obey him in all the matters that do not go against Quran and Sunnah. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” (Surah An-Nisa’: 34)

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.” (At-Tabarani, Ibn Majah)

7. Her Patience: Patience is a characteristic that can never be praised enough.

A woman who remains patient at the times of hardship and relies on the help and mercy of Allah is without a doubt a beloved servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And Allah loves As-Saabiroon (the patient)” (Surah Aal Imran: 146)

8. Her Cooking: Delicious food is without a doubt weakness of men. It’s an old saying that “The Way to a Man's Heart is through his Stomach”. We also know that one of Prophet’s (Sallallahu alaihiwasallam) wives used to cook food that he liked a lot and due to that Aishah radhiyAllahu anha would get jealous, because she didn’t know how to cook that.

9. Her Contentment with Rizq: No man likes to have a woman who is always complaining about how less her husband earns or how rich her other friends are. A good Muslimah is the one who thank Allah for what He has blessed her with and she is thankful to her husband for what he provides her with.

Abu Hurairah RadhiyAllahu anh reported: The Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, "Richness is not the abundance of wealth, rather it is self-sufficiency.'' (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

10. Good Manners: A woman of good manners is a blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. When she speaks, she speaks honorably, why she deals with others she deals with them kindly. She is polite with elders, loving to children, and good to her fellow folks.

It is related by 'Abdullah bin Amr that the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: "The best of you are those who possess the best of manners." (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

I hope i find a Muslima who has all these qualities Inshallah :)

Good luck with everything ...